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Highlighting in album tracklistings denotes 'contains Mellotron'. On 'multi-part' tracks I've tried to indicate which parts contain 'Tron, although this isn't always possible.
Ratings:
The * rating (½-5) is my personal, entirely subjective and completely partisan rating of the music.
The 'T' ('Tron, of course...) rating (0-5) is an only slightly more objective indicator of an album's Mellotronness.
By the way, if you know of any Mellotron albums that aren't listed here, please look at my albums page first! Thanks.
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John Wetton Whipping Post The White Birch |
White Willow White Wing Whitlams |
Wigwam Wilco Wild Strawberries |
Mark Williams Robbie Williams |
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Caught in the Crossfire (1980, 42.04) **½/T |
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| Turn on the Radio Baby Come Back When Will You Realize? Cold is the Night Paper Talk Get Away Caught in the Crossfire Get What You Want |
I'll Be There Woman |
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Progfest '97 (1997, 21.03) ****/TT[John Wetton Band contribute]In the Dead of Night Rendezvous 6:02 Starless |
Current availability:
John Wetton really shouldn't need any introduction, having played with (deep breath) Family, King Crimson, Roxy Music, Uriah Heep and UK, and that was before the reprehensible Asia in the early '80s. Caught in the Crossfire can actually be seen as a precursor to said band, sadly, being a pretty commercial effort, Wetton having taken the poppier side of UK and run with it, certainly going by the Jobson-alike piano parts on some tracks. Actually, this is pretty duff, if I'm going to be honest (and when am I not?). Cheesy and 'commercial', but with few memorable songs, although I've got a nasty feeling opener Turn On The Radio could stick like glue.
About the best moment here is Cold Is The Night, a reasonably atmospheric ballad with shitloads of Mellotron, with a flute part being replaced by choirs and overdubbed strings, although that's it for the album. Y'know, you really don't need to own a copy of this; I paid a fiver for it, and it was four quid too much - more fool me. This was probably the last time Wetton used a 'Tron, although he actually brought one along to Heep, who let him play it occasionally. It's rumoured it's on '94's Battle Lines, and even 2003's Rock of Faith, but I'd be amazed in both cases if it were true. The only other solo Wetton possible is Monkey Business: 1972-1997, which is supposed to have a couple of '70s demos including the 'Tron; more news if I get to hear a copy. As for Caught in the Crossfire, it's a waste of space, with one decent 'Tron track. Typical.
John played at Progfest '97 with a band including IQ's Martin Orford, who was persuaded to play a real Mellotron on the night. They get three tracks on the album, with (unsurprisingly) nothing on UK's In The Dead Of Night and Rendezvous 6:02, but the expected string part on a slightly truncated Starless. It doesn't seem likely that the rest of their set will appear at any stage in the near future, and I've no idea what else may be on it 'Tronwise, sadly.
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So We Are (1980, 41.58) ***½/TTTT½ReturnFreedom in Me Saturday'n Sunday Preball Your Love So We Are Gimme a Shine Gonna Be Wild Pioneers |
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So We Are was Whipping Post (presumably named for the Allmans song)'s second album, after their eponymous debut, and, unsurprisingly, has quite a blues influence running through it. In fact, I'd go as far as to call it a late-period blues/prog album, a style that fell out of favour in the UK in the early '70s. It's not a bad record, but lacks anything to make it particularly stand out, apart, of course, from its Mellotron work. C.B. Busser goes absolutely hell-for-leather with the thing; in fact, I can't detect any other keys on the album, which rescue it somewhat from blues/rock anonymity.
Freedom In Me sounds like nothing less than a prog version of Neil Young's incomparable Like A Hurricane, with 'Tron strings replacing the original's Stringman; Christ, they even use the same guitar tricks! Saturday'n Sunday has some distant choirs, more strings on Preball, brass on Your Love, then back to the choirs for the title track and Gimme A Shine. Strings on Gonna Be Wild, finishing with choirs again on Pioneers, making for a ridiculously Mellotron-heavy record, although little of the use is that outstanding. If you want to hear OTT 'Tron laid over blues/rock, though, this is going to become your favourite album.
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Star is Just a Sun (2002, 44.34) ****/T½AirBreathe Silly Malone Love is So Real Beauty King Star Riot Donau Movies Glow Atlantis |
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Although The White Birch have been reviewed on some progressive sites, they have more in common with the quieter end of, say, Radiohead, Low, or more obviously, Iceland's wonderful Sigur Rós (if ever a band could do with using a Mellotron...). Star is Just a Sun is apparently a major departure for the band, and is probably best described as melancholy; a far better word than 'miserable', which just makes me think of the likes of the Smiths. This is really quite gorgeous, actually, deserving a far wider audience than the one it doubtless has, although at least being on Glitterhouse should give the wider world a passing chance of becoming aware of their existence.
It's difficult to pick standout tracks on one listen (you think I have the time for multiple plays of new albums?), but opening instrumental Air sets the scene nicely, with most of the album being in a similar vein, and only a couple having any percussion at all. The vocal work is reasonable, but I'd have been just as happy had the album been instrumental, although that wouldn't do the band's prospects any good, I suspect. Ola Fløttum plays the occasional Mellotron part, with sparse flutes towards the end of Donau Movies and what sounds like distant, heavily-reverbed choirs on Glow, leaving Breathe as the album's only real 'Tron track, with a flute part to die for.
So; very much recommended, particularly if you're in a mellow frame of mind (and no, that isn't a drug reference), although there's not an awful lot of Mellotronic involvement.
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Ignis Fatuus (1995, 66.41) ****½/TTTT½ |
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| Snowfall Lord of Night Song Ingenting The Withering of the Boughs Lines on an Autumnal Evening Now in These Fairy Lands Piletreet |
Till He Arrives Cryptomenysis Signs John Dee's Lament |
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Ex Tenebris (1998, 48.17) ****½/TTTT½Leaving the House of ThanatosThe Book of Love Soteriology Helen and Simon Magus Thirteen Days A Strange Procession... ...A Dance of Shadows |
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Sacrament (2000, 48.09) ****/TTAnamnesisPaper Moon The Crucible The Last Rose of Summer Gnostalgia The Reach |
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Storm Season (2004, 47.27) ****½/TTTT½Chemical SunsetSally Left Endless Science Soulburn Insomnia Storm Season Nightside of Eden |
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Signal to Noise (2006, 51.34) ****½/TTT½Night SurfSplinters Ghosts Joyride The Lingering The Dark Road Chrome Dawn Dusk City Ararat |
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Progfest '95 (1996, 17.09) ****/TT[White Willow contribute]Lord of Night Cryptomenysis |
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White Willow are one of the later entrants to the, er, 'New Wave of Scandinavian Prog', along with the (relatively) extremely successful Flower Kings. Whereas Änglagård's music could be described as 'wintry', on Ignis Fatuus, White Willow are more 'autumnal'; mostly gentle, folk-influenced progressive rock, with much use of acoustic instrumentation and female vocals. There's also a fair chunk of Mellotron, Moog and Taurus pedals thrown in among the (real) flutes and cellos, so, rather like '70s Italian proggers Celeste, they mix the old and the, er, not so old to excellent effect. While much of the album has a somewhat gloomy feel, there are also many upbeat moments, notably Now In These Fairy Lands, with its strummed acoustic guitar and organ interjections, while Song has a distinctly medieval feel to it, using what sounds like period instrumentation.
Jan Tariq Rahman's Mellotron use on the album is subtle and distinctive, mainly flutes and strings, with little bits of cello and choir here and there. There are both real flutes and cellos used, too, so the 'Tron flute single lines could be considered a little eccentric, but they work well, so who's complaining? The best description I can come up with for their Mellotron use is 'understated'; never over-used, but appearing often enough to stamp its personality on the album.
It took White Willow three years to come up with another album, Ex Tenebris, in which time the band had only become quieter (!). Still very autumnal, there's hardly any percussion at all, although its predecessor isn't exactly drum-heavy... Otherwise, the mix is similar to Ignis Fatuus, with more Mellotron strings, less cello and choir and even less electric instrumentation overall, the chief exception being lengthy closer ...A Dance Of Shadows. Incidentally, Änglagård's Mattias Olsson plays on the album, while his partner, Pineforest Crunch's Åsa Eklund sings on one track.
2000 brought a third White Willow album, Sacrament, although there appear to have been some lineup changes, with Jan Tariq Rahman no longer part of the organisation. Possibly as a result, there's far less 'Tron to be heard, although by and large, the music keeps up the standard set by their first two releases, although in places, it's noticeably heavier, with more guitar and drums than before. Opener Anamnesis is probably the best track, although there's some excellent classical guitar work on The Crucible. As far as the 'Tron's concerned (actually from guitarist Jacob Holm-Lupo), The Crucible and Gnostalgia have some ethereal choir work, while the strings are finally used (albeit briefly) on excellent closer The Reach. So, less of a Mellotron Album than its predecessors, but still a worthy release.
After another lengthy wait, 2004's Storm Season is a complete return to form for the band (not that there's anything wrong with its predecessor), consisting of a mixture of the gentler style they showcased on their first two releases and the heavier aspects of Sacrament. Unlike Sacrament, though, the album is stuffed with 'Tron, with new man Lars (Fredrik) Frøislie (also of Wobbler) getting some in on every track. The album opens with solo (real) flute, quickly replaced by a Mellotron flute arpeggio, followed by a choir part, setting the tone for the rest of the record. Plenty of strings, too, again sometimes alongside real ones, making this yet another essential purchase.
2006's Signal to Noise matches the quality of its predecessor, while possibly appealing more to the 'mainstream' prog crowd, getting a decent review in the UK's 'Classic Rock' mag (not the magazine of Rotherham's Classic Rock Society, before any of you complain), usually fairly clueless when commenting on the modern progressive scene. Excellent material across the board, with Joyride even managing to sound quite 'pop', while keeping up the quality. A fair bit of 'Tron from Mr.Frøislie again, with a brief string part on opener Night Surf, while Splinters features a polyphonic flute part and a great, Crimsonesque strings pitchbend later in the song. The weird little 'stabbed' string chords in Joyride work surprisingly well, and aren't completely obscured by key-click (a sign of a well-set up and maintained 'Tron), with cellos later in the song, while the album's first 'Tron choirs appear in The Lingering, along with some unusually background strings. The Dark Road contains probably the album's most upfront strings part, plus what sounds like a speedy 'Tron viola at the end, key-click intact, with almost solo flutes in Chrome Dawn, making for a subtly satisfying Mellotronic listen on a high-quality progressive release.
So; five excellent albums that grow on you with repeated listening, not to mention plenty of Mellotron (on all but Sacrament), with the potential to be considered classics. For all but the most neo- of progressive fans (shame on all of you!), these are pretty essential. Buy.
Incidentally, the band also contributed to Musea's Progfest '95 double disc celebration of that year's festival, with excellent versions of Lord Of Night and Cryptomenysis from their debut. Cello and choir parts on the former and a brief burst of strings on the latter are worth hearing, though rather lesser than on the studio versions. Amazingly, the band's appearance at NEARfest a few years later (not officially available) featured no Mellotron whatsoever, even in sampled form, leaving large gaps in their sound. Odd.
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White Wing (1975, 38.05) ***½/TTTHansa (Cygnus)Patent Leather Slave Wait Till Tomorrow The White Ship Harbinger A Little Levity Tuzashottma Executive Privilege Hansa (Aquila) |
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White Wing were precursors to the (marginally) better-known Asia (vastly superior US version), and sound a great deal more 'mid-'70s', for the pretty fair reason that that's when they existed, I suppose. Rather than Asia's full-on frontal assault, White Wing played a rather sort of middling hard rock, with even the heaviest tracks (Patent Leather, A Little Levity) being slightly on the tame side in comparison, which isn't to say they were bad, just a bit generic. Actually, some of White Wing's best tracks are the quieter ones, not least opener Hansa (Cygnus) and its closing reprise, Hansa (Aquila), lush ballads stuffed full of Mellotron strings, making the former a slightly odd first track, though effective nonetheless.
Speaking of which, there's strings on three more tracks, played by guitarist Mike Coates, who reprised his dual role a few years later in Asia. All five of the album's relevant pieces feature it fairly prominently, although the 'Tron never gets quite as in-yer-face as on the first and last tracks. So; now this is readily available (albeit at Jap import prices, and probably unofficially), do you bother? Well, don't expect anything much like Asia, and you won't be too disappointed, although its 'Tron input is pretty reasonable. Good, but not outstanding.
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Eternal Nightcap (1997, 63.36) ***/T |
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| No Aphrodisiac Buy Now Pay Later (Charlie No.2) Love is Everywhere You Sound Like Louis Burdett Melbourne Where's the Enemy Charlie No.3 Life's a Beach |
Tangled Up in Blue Laugh in Their Faces Charlie No.1 Up Against the Wall Band on Every Corner (Hidden track) |
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I'm assured The Whitlams are a pretty cheerful bunch most of the time, but it seems Eternal Nightcap is largely about a friend of their who committed suicide the previous year; several of the tracks are about him, including the three 'Charlie' ones (thanks to Adrian for that info). A few tracks up the ante and the pace, including Love Is Everywhere and Up Against The Wall, but most of the album relies on an almost alt.country laid-back feel, not to mention the waltz-time folk of Band On Every Corner, although the rest of it's nearer the rock/pop mainstream than that.
Mellotron on one track only, Melbourne, with band leader Tim Freedman playing 'Strawberry Fields'-style flutes, mixed with real strings in places, although the 'Tron's well down in the mix. As a result, not a 'Tron album in any way, although Melbourne is worth hearing. Incidentally, this is one of those irritating albums that has several blank minutes before a hidden 'bonus' track, although unlike most similar efforts, this one has snippets of early takes of various tracks, with the guy who died (Stevie Plunder) talking dolefully about why he left the band superimposed over some of it.
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Titans Wheel (2002, 68.05) **/T½ |
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| Remains to Be Seen Subterranean Sunrise Titans Wheel Drive on Driver Bitesize Greatfield Win Your Love Drinks on the House |
Good Mornington Street The Lost Lizard King (Ababacab) To the Other Side Heaven in a Modern World That's the Way (Someone Chanted Evening) |
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Some Several Moons (2005, 60.54) **½/T½ |
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| (Intro) Chord Squad Sandpainting Bow Lane Kabul Grill Cloudy Dream Deep Pop (Before the Only One Comes) Squaw Valley Non-Event |
Tokyo Joe (One Roll From Paradise) Banging on the Ceiling Cacobe Bar Two-Step |
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I was warned that these two recent Wigwam albums bore little in common with their excellent '70s work, and my informant/supplier (hi, Johannes) wasn't wrong. Wigwam, led by Brit ex-pat Jim Pembroke, were a damn' good band in their day, and were one of the few progressive bands from a non-English speaking country to actually achieve some wider recognition. After splitting in the late '70s, they released Light Ages in 1993, then nothing until 2002's Titans Wheel [sic]. I'm afraid there's only one way to describe this album, particularly when you consider how good some of their original albums were: pseudo-commercial dreck. This is a very mainstream record indeed, although it's dated for when it appeared; maybe you can get away with this sort of thing in Finland? It would be generous to describe most of the songs as poor AOR with a blues influence; I certainly can't imagine the international audience taking this to their hearts, to be honest. As if another fault was needed, the album is overlong, with several tracks dragging on for two or three minutes longer than necessary, all assuming you considered them necessary in the first place. The most embarrassing part of an already poor album is Pembroke's jokey ending, where he merely sounds like a man out of time, referencing Sinatra and other singers from the era. Grim.
Finland's Mellotron player to the stars, Esa Kotilainen, adds 'Tron to a handful of tracks here. There's strings and 'Strawberry Fields' flutes on Remains To Be Seen, with more of the same on the title track and a neat descending/ascending string line on closer That's The Way (Someone Chanted Evening), although that's the only good thing about it, plus faint choir/strings/flute on Bitesize. It sounds like it could be Mellotron on one or two other tracks, but the uncredited flutes sound real, and the strings don't quite have that strained quality about them (is the quality of Mellotrons not strain'd? Sorry).
The reconstituted band followed up three years on with Some Several Moons, which manages to be better than its predecessor, although I wouldn't take that as any sort of recommendation. The horrible AORisms are largely absent, replaced by a more 'down home' feel on several tracks, which, while rather uninteresting, isn't actually offensive. The mostly-spoken Squaw Valley Non-Event is about the best track, showcasing Pekka Rechardt's guitar work nicely, but this isn't an album to which I can see myself returning very often. OK, ever. Kotilainen gets his 'Tron in again, with more of those 'Strawberry Fields' flutes in the background on Chord Squad, and a more straightforward part on Bow Lane, although the album's best 'Tron work is the layered flutes on Squaw Valley Non-Event (also featuring cellos). Background strings on Tokyo Joe (One Roll From Paradise), exceedingly faint flutes on Cloudy Dream, and that's yer lot.
So; some of Wigwam's '70s work is very fine indeed, but neither of these albums is worth your time or money, sadly. Maybe their Finnish fanbase will buy anything with their name on the cover, but these records absolutely do not cut the mustard internationally. Some OK 'Tron work, but overall, avoid.
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Summer Teeth (1999) ***/TT½ |
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| Can't Stand it She's a Jar A Shot in the Arm We're Just Friends I'm Always in Love Nothing'severgonnastandinmyway (Again) Pieholden Suite How to Fight Loneliness |
Via Chicago ELT My Darling When You Wake Up Feeling Old Summer Teeth In a Future Age |
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Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (2002, 51.56) ***/T |
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| I Am Trying to Break Your Heart Kamera Radio Cure War on War Jesus, Etc. Ashes of American Flags Heavy Metal Drummer I'm the Man Who Loves You |
Pot Kettle Black Poor Places Reservations |
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Summer Teeth, as in 'some are teeth... and some aren't'. Boom boom. Wilco's third album continued the vaguely 'alt.country' feel of their first two, but with added Mellotron on a few tracks. Can't Stand It has some nice strings under the chorus from Jay Bennett, and both She's A Jar and ELT feature some decent pitch-bend work; no samples here... Like several other similar things I've heard, the Mellotron tracks tend to be the best on the record (biased? moi?!), and I found the rest of the album a little overrated.
p.s. I've been (humorously) berated for not giving this a rave review, so I gave it another shot and have decided I may've been a little unfair. It doesn't really ring my bell, but Sparklehorse et al. fans may well be into this. Not great, but certainly not bad.
They belatedly followed it with 2002's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, after lineup upheavals that had founder member Bennett moving on. Far more downbeat than its predecessor, it's a good album, but one I suspect the listener will have to work at, as it's far from readily accessible, but since when was that a bad thing? Obvious 'Tron on two tracks, presumably from Bennett, despite his general lack of involvement in the recording process, with an upfront strings part on Pot Kettle Black, and some muted cellos on lengthy closer Reservations.
So; two good albums in their field, though they're not going to be to everyone's tastes, with the former the better Mellotronic prospect. Incidentally, there's also 'Tron on one track of the band's second Billy Bragg collaboration, Mermaid Avenue Vol.II, though it's really not worth writing home about.
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Heroine (1995, 43.28) **½/T |
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| I Don't Want to Think About it Careful Heroine Fall Invitation On My Own Debutante Aisle C |
Fine Everything That Rises Give it Up Everybody Loves You When You're Dead |
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Wild Strawberries are the Toronto-based married couple duo of Ken and Roberta Carter Harrison, who've been making albums, with varying commercial success, since the late '80s. The fact that they've played Lilith Fair probably tells you a good bit about how they sound; perfectly pleasant, but a bit wet, in a typically indie manner. Nice instrumentation in places (plenty of Wurly piano), although the '808 kit' credited on a few tracks wears one down pretty quickly.
Ken Harrison (also the duo's sole songwriter) plays inaudible Mellotron on I Don't Want To Think About It, while Fall has a very audible flute part, and Fine a lesser one. So; if Canadian female-fronted indie is your bag, go for it. As for the rest of us... Extra marks, though, for the wonderfully ironic 'fifties' domestic goddess' sleeve design, and the title of their latest album, Deformative Years.
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Mark Williams (1975, 36.19) **/T |
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| Gimme Little Sign Get on the Right Road Celebration Love the One You're With Let Love Come Between Us Disco Queen Sail on White Moon Ain't No Sunshine |
Wailing Wall Jimmy Loves Marianne Yesterday Was Just the Beginning of My Life A Perfect Love |
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Mark Williams left his band, The Face, in 1973 for a solo career; the first evidence of this, 1975's Mark Williams, was apparently New Zealand's 'best selling pop/rock album of the '70s'. With the benefit of hindsight, it consists of soul-inflected mid-'70s pop, concentrating on slightly lesser-known cover versions, although Stephen Stills' Love The One You're With isn't exactly unknown. Other writers featured on the album include Todd Rundgren (Wailing Wall), the Easybeats' Vanda and Young (Yesterday Was Just The Beginning Of My Life) and Tony Ashton and Jon Lord (Celebration), all tackled in a bland, mainstream sort of way that probably wouldn't have turned anyone's head in Britain or the States, or possibly even Australia.
David Fraser plays Mellotron on a couple of tracks, with flute and string lines on Bill Withers' Ain't No Sunshine and a rather maudlin string part on closer A Perfect Love, but as so often with this kind of album, nothing you can't do without. On the offchance you should happen to a) be in New Zealand or b) be a New Zealander, please avoid this album. It may be perfectly professional, but so are any number of tedious mainstream efforts; I think giving it two stars is rather generous, to be honest.
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Sing When You're Winning (2000) ½/½ |
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| Let Love Be Your Energy Better Man Rock DJ Supreme Kids If it's Hurting You Singing for the Lonely Love Calling Earth |
Knutsford City Limits Forever Texas By All Means Necessary The Road to Mandalay |
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Intensive Care (2005, 53.04) **½/T |
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| Ghosts Tripping Make Me Pure Spread Your Wings Advertising Space Please Don't Die Your Gay Friend Sin Sin Sin |
Random Acts of Kindness The Trouble With Me A Place to Crash King of Bloke and Bird |
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After Robbie Williams left the massively successful Take That, he was widely expected to disappear into obscurity, but surprised all and sundry by becoming everyone's favourite Cheeky Chappie, notching up hit after tedious hit. The biggest, or at least the most ubiquitous of these was the irredeemable Millennium, which without the replayed 'sample' from the Bond soundtrack 'You Only Live Twice' wouldn't even have been a song. His popularity (almost exclusively with women of seemingly all ages) refuses to wane, however, mostly due to his saturnine good looks and 'rock star' persona.
I'd have liked to review Sing When You're Winning properly, but I found it impossible to get more than about 30 seconds into each track, due to their general awfulness. I gritted my teeth and sat out the whole of The Road To Mandalay, all for a few seconds of producer/songwriter Guy Chambers' 'Tron string line. Chambers, you should be ashamed of yourself. This is shit. So; don't buy this record. Appalling music, remedial singing, terrible songs, almost nonexistent Mellotron. Avoid like the plague. Unbelievably, Williams' hyper-inflated ego has allowed him to think he can take on Sinatra (!!) and record an album of big band standards, Swing When You're Winning (ho ho). He seems to have missed the essential point that Sinatra is one of popular music's great voices, if not the greatest. Oh well, that's egos for you...
Well well well; how times change... 'Robbie' (you know someone's a household name when they become synonymous with their Christian name) seems to've matured greatly in a pretty short period; something to do with getting the monkey off his back, maybe? Anyway, without sacrificing any popularity whatsoever, he's reinvented himself as an 'adult entertainer'; I'm not saying he's suddenly worthy of serious attention, but he's making respectable albums like 2003's Escapology, which, while largely dull, rarely actually offend. Escapology's actually quite confusing, given that there are two noticeably different albums of that title floating around, which may or may not be the 'clean' and 'explicit' versions; they certainly have several different tracks. What seems to be the standard UK release has no Mellotron, while the 'clean' (seemingly interchangeable with 'American') version does. Since I've only heard the British one, I'll only bother reviewing it if I get to hear the other version.
2005's Intensive Care carries on in the same vein, mixing medium-outrageous lyrics (opening couplet "Here I stand victorious/The only man who made you come") with more heartfelt stuff like the pedal steel-infused King Of Bloke And Bird. It certainly toys with mainsteam drivel (A Place To Crash), but avoids that awful dance-influenced style that so many of his contemporaries seem to find it perfectly acceptable to foist on the general public. Jebin Bruni plays something unidentifiable on a Chamberlin on Spread Your Wings (what is it about this guy and Queen song titles?), but Claire Worrall's Mellotron strings on King Of Bloke And Bird cut through nicely throughout the track, which ends with a genuinely beautiful minute or so of solo lap steel.
So; a man improving himself, which has to be applauded; under no circumstances, however, even think about voluntarily hearing any of Williams' early work. Very nasty. For that matter, don't go too far out of your way for his recent albums, either; just because I'm saying 'it's a lot better' isn't to actually say 'it's particularly good'. Review of Escapology to follow, when I find someone who actually wants to own the cleaner version.
Official site (should you, for some bizarre reason, wish to go there)